Here is my really weird story of english class.

So, there I was in English class.  Was I doing stuff?  Of course not!  Tessa and I were writing a weird story that involved camels, Myra, and many other stange things/people.  Then, I decided to get out my student planner to see if there was still this weird picture of two people looking at a sunset which I drew at the beginning of the year.  However, I soon realized my student planner was completely disgusting and covered in old, wet apple juice (well, I guess you’d assume that apple juice is wet).  But that’s not all.  Down the side it had all of this disgusting blackness stuck to the pages.  I was like, “hmm, what is that disgusting blackness stuck to the pages of my darling assignment planner thing?”  Then I realized: uh oh, I have a very bad feeling that there are one or two really old, really moldy lunches sitting at the bottom of my backpack.  And maybe they finally got sick of just sitting there, so they…they…they…OH. NO.  I braced myself and pulled out a mass of soaking wet crap from the bowels of my backpack.  Sure enough, upon closer inspection I discovered that there was an old juicebox which had sprouted significant leaks, very brown apple remnants covered in black polka dots (which proved to be the source of the nastyness of my student planner), and…last but not least…some absolutely revolting green chesse.   MOLDY CHEESE IS SO DISGUSTING!!  I honestly don’t understand people who eat blue cheese as a hobby.  But anyway.  So naturally I freaked out and screamed (well, a me-style scream) and ran to the trash can to throw away the grossness.  So that wouldn’t be too bad on its own.

But, alas, the worst was yet to come.

“Uh, why is your butt all wet?”

This is what some girls asked me as I made my way back to my seat.  Surprised, I tried to keep myself from actually feeling my butt to see if it was really wet, which would have looked extremely weird.  To tell you the truth, it had felt a little…wet…during history.  But I figured it was just the coldness of the chair (you know how coldness can sometimes feel wet?).  Because it’s not like I have a sweaty butt, and I totally got over wetting my pants like, months ago.  So I thought that it was just, what would you call it, a sensory illusion?  BUT NO!!!!  Tessa confirmed that my entire butt was, indeed, quite wet.  First I tried to tie a short-sleeved shirt around my waist, but you can imagine how stupid that looked.  The only other thing I had was a pair of red pants. And it is very hard to decide which is weirder: having red gym pants tied around your waist, or being very wet, let’s just say, underneath your waist?  Thankfully, the trusty Tessa walked behind me as I went out of English and headed to the bathroom.  But it’s not like there was anything I could do about it in the bathroom, so I just sort of came back.

That was when I reached for my backpack again and discovered that the whole back of it was soaking.  AHA!  A connection!  So it turned out that I had impaled the wetness upon myself, by not drinking my stupid juice when I had the chance weeks ago (and from the state of the cheese, I’m willing to say that it was possibly months).  It turns out that the juice struck numerous things today: my student planner, my butt, my Latin notebook, and my chemistry textbook, to name a few.  But because I am an idiot, I put the backpack back on and walked down the hallway.  This only re-liquified my shorts and made for more wetness comments in Latin!  Not to mention, it seriously felt like I had had a little *accident*

But never fear, this story does have a moral.  I will give it to you in pictures:

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You have been warned.